Where have the men gone?

[ECShooter 0]

Its really sad what passes for a "man" these days. Im only 25, the pussification of america is RAMPANT in my generation.

Sadly, I agree. Only one of my nephews over the age of 18 has any personal responsibility, the rest just try to act "tough" and fail miserably at being men. It is even present in the way they speak to their mothers and sisters, like they are trash. Fortunately, I have a shred of hope as all of the young men that I have met through the forums, at the range, etc, are good men and make an effort to be self sufficient and responsible gentlemen.

 

I'm not above paying for skill based service. I know how to use a hammer and fix most things, but there are three reasons that I will call in an expert.

 

1. Time

2. Expertise

3. Supporting a local small business.

 

There is a benefit to knowing your limitations and supporting your neighbors.

[greatgunstatenj 32]

Overall I'd agree that self-sufficiency is a thing of the past for many, however...

I grew up in the southern rural part of NJ.  Everyone I associate with hunts, shoots, fixes cars, knows how to weld, has cut their own fire wood, has poured concrete, knows how to pilot a boat, can start a brush fire on a drizzly morning, has eaten something they killed themselves, and thinks nothing of grabbing a rifle, shotgun, or handgun to dispatch some wild animal that's hanging around too close to the house.  I realize that I'm very fortunate. We don't have to dress up in tactical gear and drive to the range with our guns hidden our trunks to spend half an hour acting manly.  Maybe we're a step above cave dwellers but we're resourceful, self reliant, independent cave dwellers that don't have to pretend to have feelings.

 A little judgmental, no? Not all of us are afforded the luxury of having enough land to use firearms. Especially here in CNJ/NNJ where acreage comes at a premium. Sure, we could just move right? Unless perhaps all of our family lives nearby, then the decision isn't as easy. As for pretending to have feelings, are you going to pretend you don't? Not showing feelings is one thing, not having them.. quite another! lol

 

I lived for about 10 years in central NJ after college.  I always felt like I was the only guy in the whole county that knew how to do anything for myself.  I always wondered why everyone else was so content to depend on others for every little aspect of managing their own lives from calling the super to unclog a drain to taking a taxi 5 blocks to work.

  Sounds like you didn't get out enough. I've lived in CNJ for a good part of my life and most of the guys (some of the women) I know do all of the aforementioned and more. 

 

I've been back in my rural, manly world for the last 15 years and I had forgotten how un-manly parts of our state really are until a few days ago.   My wife has been shopping for a car.  She found one she really wanted to see and it was in Princeton so I took a day off to drive up to Princeton and see the car.  We ended up liking it and buying it but this meant spending half the day at a dealership dealing with lots of different "men" to get the deal done at the dealership, the bank, a late lunch at a restaurant, and a little shopping.  We were both struck by the high levels of estrogen that seemed to be flowing through every one of the "men" we met.  It's not something I can't clearly put into words but if I was in a fight for my life, I'd want every one of the "men" we dealt with on the other side of that fight. 

 And this decision was arrived at by more than a cursory assessment of these "men"? Or because a person is polished he/she must be on the "wrong" side of the gender continuum in your opinion? I'm just curious because it sounds like you might be judging a book by it's cover. Which could lead you to false assumptions like the one you made above about being the only guy in the county who could walk 5 blocks or unclog a drain without an assist from the super.

 

I feel for the actual men on this forum that aren't lucky enough to live in a place where men are expected to act like men. 

Do real men give a shit about the expectations of the general populace?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[greatgunstatenj 32]

 

I'm ok with being outnumbered by wimps....Natural selection will run its course if/when the shtf.

 

 

 

Sad and true....it's only getting worse.  Lack of discipline = Sissafication!

 

Proverbs 23: 13-14.

"Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.

 

 

 

 

I think this is one of the biggest problems, lack of discipline. When did spanking become off limits? I'm not advocating beating but kids need a good smack now and then. 

[mcbethr 42]

I grew up in the southern rural part of NJ.  Everyone I associate with hunts, shoots, fixes cars, knows how to weld, has cut their own fire wood, has poured concrete, knows how to pilot a boat, can start a brush fire on a drizzly morning, has eaten something they killed themselves, and thinks nothing of grabbing a rifle, shotgun, or handgun to dispatch some wild animal that's hanging around too close to the house. 

 

I am a Cherry Hill Jew.  I think you are the guy I pay to do these things.

 

But I *am* an engineer by schooling.  I know how to pick up a screwdriver and do a home project or two.  I tend to repair rather than replace.  Right now I have a simple $15 stool from Target that somehow broke a leg.  I have every intention of fixing it rather than buying a new one.

 

The Army taught me how to sew and build a fire.  I know how to troubleshoot an electrical connection and I'm still good with a soldering iron. 

 

But for the most part, I pay other people to do menial stuff.  It has nothing to do with manliness.  It's more a sense that I spend a lot of my time making money.  When I have time off, I would rather relax and sit in a hammock sipping cranberry juice and have someone else mow the lawn than do it myself.  This is also why I don't reload my own ammo.   Reloading ammo takes time that I'd rather spend doing something else.  But that's just me.

[DevsAdvocate 112]

Real men are around, we just keep to ourselves.  We're not on TV, driving flashy cars, etc.  We're just doing our thing.

[bulpup 98]

I love how that phrase "overcompensating for a small dick" has become some kind of honorary fact, especially when people see a very expensive car. There is a parking garage where I work next to Madison Square Garden that gets overflowed with Maserati and Porches, especially if there is a Knicks game.

 

I worked past with a co-worker and this guy was like, "dayyum, lots of small dick a-holes park their cars here." Never once thinking that those were the player's cars, hugely successful professional athletes that bust their asses for years, or the team managers.

 

you buy a car like that because you have money to burn and love the thing, but no, everyone has it on good authority that it is proof of something else.

 

Even my wife will look at a late model Mustang and say the same thing.

 

I say this because I am seriously looking to get a replica kit car to build.

One so hot people will be of sure of the diminutive size of my genitals.

 

 

 

 

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[so_dank 0]

Im 33 and am blessed to have a wife that takes pride in my large forehead and 240lb frame.. I've since taught her to break down all kinds game except squirrel.. they look like rats I guess. Its a great feeling watching my wife swing a deer leg like a butcher making near perfect cuts. I live in north jersey but work in hackensack.. even the gangsters look like women these days. I work with a buddy whos 24 and is as testosterone as can be... he hates being in the dating pool at this age because apparently the younger girls are into the skinny tight jean men that buff there nails not there chest he's 230 all muscle.. I guess it goes in cycles maybe when im 50 baggy savvy jeans will be back in style and I welcome that over this new style of man. But look on the bright side if ..shtf .. there will be less competition for resources since these people will last 3 months tops. Leaving us "stupid hillbilly jocks" to take what we need.

[bulpup 98]

 

The Army taught me how to sew and build a fire.

 

 

I love telling that to people. And I add, "and use an iron and make my bed."

 

They also taught me to rappel out of helicopters and drop high explosive on people 12 miles away.

 

 

 

 

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[usnmars 136]

I see a large portion of Americans have been effectively Pussified.  I make a good living for myself and work my butt off to get what I have.  I am highly educated but and I take pride in doing things myself, not paying others to do it for me.  Americans are getting lazy and that is the best way to put it.  Not all, just a large portion.  Ask your coworkers if they change their own oil, I bett they almost all say no.  Out of that majority that say no, a good portion of them wouldn't even know where the drain plug on the oil pan is.  We have become a society of luxury, and not self sufficiency.  As with those that live off the big government say, why do it yourself  when someone else will do it for me.   

[DevsAdvocate 112]

I see a large portion of Americans have been effectively Pussified.  I make a good living for myself and work my butt off to get what I have.  I am highly educated but and I take pride in doing things myself, not paying others to do it for me.  Americans are getting lazy and that is the best way to put it.  Not all, just a large portion.  Ask your coworkers if they change their own oil, I bett they almost all say no.  Out of that majority that say no, a good portion of them wouldn't even know where the drain plug on the oil pan is.  We have become a society of luxury, and not self sufficiency.  As with those that live off the big government say, why do it yourself  when someone else will do it for me.   

With respect to changing oil, its simply an economic decision.  I've worked it out, and given the cost of the oil, the filter, and the time involved, its still cheaper to take my car to a Jiffy Lube or some other place to get the oil changed.  Even if the material cost is even, the time cost is not.  The 1-2 hours spent changing the oil is 1-2 hours I could have spent productively elsewhere.  Not to mention the cost and time of disposing it properly.

 

Same is true with most projects.  Americans aren't lazy, they just value their time more.  Who wants to spend hours over a weekend scrubbing bathrooms and cleaning the kitchen when you can pay a cleaning crew $100 to get it done in an hour?  That's time you could've spent relaxing with your family, working on your golf swing, going to the shooting range.

[greatgunstatenj 32]

With respect to changing oil, its simply an economic decision.  I've worked it out, and given the cost of the oil, the filter, and the time involved, its still cheaper to take my car to a Jiffy Lube or some other place to get the oil changed.  Even if the material cost is even, the time cost is not.  The 1-2 hours spent changing the oil is 1-2 hours I could have spent productively elsewhere.  Not to mention the cost and time of disposing it properly.

 

Same is true with most projects.  Americans aren't lazy, they just value their time more.  Who wants to spend hours over a weekend scrubbing bathrooms and cleaning the kitchen when you can pay a cleaning crew $100 to get it done in an hour?  That's time you could've spent relaxing with your family, working on your golf swing, going to the shooting range.

Agree with some of this. I don't do my oil mostly because getting rid of the oil is a pain in the neck, I'm at work when the collection center is open.

 

As for Americans being lazy...some definitely are and many can't afford to be as lazy as they are. Values are out of whack. Nothing wrong with paying someone to clean your house if you can truly afford it. Considering the average household credit card debt is north of $7k I'd say many cannot afford their laziness.

[NickySantoro 211]

Where have the men gone?

Not to NJ. Most here and on other NJ boards seem to wish they could ovulate.

 

[djg0770 481]

With respect to changing oil, its simply an economic decision.  I've worked it out, and given the cost of the oil, the filter, and the time involved, its still cheaper to take my car to a Jiffy Lube or some other place to get the oil changed.  Even if the material cost is even, the time cost is not.  The 1-2 hours spent changing the oil is 1-2 hours I could have spent productively elsewhere.  Not to mention the cost and time of disposing it properly.

 

My dealer charges $14.95 for this convenience.  Do you think I crawl under my car for an oil change any longer?

 

By the same token, I've replaced engines on several cars, replaced the head of one on the street in Brooklyn (long story) and I'm finishing up a bunch of house renovations.

 

Entitlement society will be our downfall.  Metrosexuals and pussification are just part of that.

[ryan_j 0]

That's why I love Sussex County, apart from the fact that it has stupid NJ laws (some of which a lot of people ignore). 

 

Every spring my chain saw gets a workout. 

 

I climb my antenna towers too. 

[ChadShaft 0]

I think a lot of it has to do with how many divorced couples there are these days. I speak for myself on this, but I really have no clue how to do most things around my house or to my car and such. I grew up with a Mom and a Sister and they didn't have those skills, so I never learned skills like that. Add in the fact that I went to Catholic school and there were no shop classes, so I didn't get the skills there either. I was kind of left to fend for myself, I mean just today I paid Lowe's a $100 to come install my storm door. It bummed me out that I have no clue how to do it myself, but that's kind of the hand I've been dealt. Heck, last year I replaced a sup pump in my basement and I was walking around for the rest of the day like I was Bob Villa.

 

That's just my take.

[djg0770 481]

Heck, last year I replaced a sup pump in my basement and I was walking around for the rest of the day like I was Bob Villa.

 

That's just my take.

 

That's testosterone son...  Feels good, doesn't it?

[Recon Racoon 49]

Sometimes men just don't have the time to be men. Between working and household duties they may no just have the time to swing a hammer or use a screwdriver.

 

I know unless I have a weekend off I have no daylight left to do anything outside. And that may be the case with a lot of guys. Except for some guys. You can just tell they like Mani/pedis while sipping on a cosmopolitan.

[djg0770 481]

Attempting when they are intimidating is what makes the man.  There was nothing I wouldn't attempt when I was younger and the only way to REALLY learn is from your mistakes.  We didn't have YouTube how-to videos in my day either.

 

Exactly.  I am thinking about teaching some things though as projects come up...

[raz-0 1,259]

Sometimes men just don't have the time to be men. Between working and household duties they may no just have the time to swing a hammer or use a screwdriver.

 

I know unless I have a weekend off I have no daylight left to do anything outside. And that may be the case with a lot of guys. Except for some guys. You can just tell they like Mani/pedis while sipping on a cosmopolitan.

It is the case. As a teenager, I didn't learn a damn thing from my father. Figured a lot out on my own. These days I only have so much time, and though I get to take care of some stuff myself, I often don't have enough time to fix mistakes like when I was in high school.

 

 

[SgtToadette 59]

Sooooooooo much nostalgia in this thread...

[djg0770 481]

So much modern day fail in this thread.

[vladtepes 1,060]

I pay more to change my own oil..  for one simple reason...

no one is going to care more about my car than me... if I do the job, then I KNOW it was done right... 

 

I have heard enough "jiffy lube" horror stories.. 

 

but that really goes for anything.. if I can do it myself I will.. EVERY time..

[Jon 264]

My father grew up in Plainfield, then moved to Piscataway after college. His father passed away while he was a teenager. He then earned himself an Engineering degree from NJIT and has since retired from the first job he took after graduating college. I am convinced that he has every tool known to man, and has done every single 'handyman' related job on the planet, from swapping an engine to re-wiring an entire house to installing central air. He still mows his own lawn, changes his own oil, replaces his own hot water heaters, and has done what he can to pass all that knowledge on to me. Your geographical location and your career mean nothing when it comes to one's 'manliness'.

 

Man, after writing that, it just makes me appreciate my old man that much more. Damn...

[Holeshot 3]

You guys sound down right boring compared to this guy.

 

[maintenanceguy 510]

to me, the girlyness that's accepted in so many men is not just about being bad at tools and fixing stuff.  It's how much time you spend plucking your eyebrows, how much you care if your belt matches your shoes, if you choose to go see the neighbor who's playing his radio too loud (not for a fight, but with a smile and handshake) or whether you hide from him in your house, whether you stop to help the stranded motorist or just drive by,  whether you care which wine goes with fish or beef or pop-tarts, whether you get involved in office gossip or shut it down when it reaches you.

 

Lots of real men never learned to operate a milling machine but still walk and talk with a little command presence, don't shy away from minor conflict, and are self confident enough to take a stand - even if your stance is different than mine. 

[vladtepes 1,060]

to me, the girlyness that's accepted in so many men is not just about being bad at tools and fixing stuff.  It's how much time you spend plucking your eyebrows, how much you care if your belt matches your shoes, if you choose to go see the neighbor who's playing his radio too loud (not for a fight, but with a smile and handshake) or whether you hide from him in your house, whether you stop to help the stranded motorist or just drive by,  whether you care which wine goes with fish or beef or pop-tarts, whether you get involved in office gossip or shut it down when it reaches you.

 

Lots of real men never learned to operate a milling machine but still walk and talk with a little command presence, don't shy away from minor conflict, and are self confident enough to take a stand - even if your stance is different than mine. 

 

 

just because you care about the way you look has little impact on being a "man" I have essentially built just about every gun I own.... put a Mustang together by learning as I was going.. got involved in situation because it was the right thing to do.. and so on.. but guess what.. I still like the color of my shirt to compliment the rest of my outfit... I wear nice cologne.. and all that.. 

 

you appear to be making an effort to generalize people....

 

don't confuse yourself about the things that really matter... it will just lead you to be bitter about nothing.. 

[M4BGRINGO 139]

And if anyone posts that paula cole song I call for an immediate ban.

What song would that be, Where have all the cowboys gone? She happens to be a very talented singer/songwriter who did a fantastic job touring with Peter Gabriel years ago on his Secret World tour.

 

But I digress. I can't rebuild my own transmissions, can only remove and reinstall them, does that make me less manly? Can't setup my own rear gears, but can remove and reinstall them, you get the picture..........Not everyone can do everything. I can build cars that go 8's at 155+ in the 1/4, but can't perform every aspect of the build process. I have tuned low seven second cars, but I can't afford to buy them.........

 

I can't shoot shotguns (or even handguns) as well as my bud Smokin .50, I but I try my best! 

[ChadShaft 0]

I just want to let you guys know I have a unibrow and a shave it. Although I still throw one helluva a punch.

[checko 180]

What song would that be, Where have all the cowboys gone? She happens to be a very talented singer/songwriter who did a fantastic job touring with Peter Gabriel years ago on his Secret World tour.

 

She may very well be but that song makes me want to drill out my temples.

[e80hydro 120]

I eat rocks and shit gun powder.