Daily humor thread

[silverado427 10,756]

41 minutes ago, Zeke said:

Jeebus I just tossed my awesome nut cookies 

Would you hit that sweet old cookie loverboy

[Zeke 5,504]

8 minutes ago, silverado427 said:

Would you hit that sweet old cookie loverboy

Ya , probably. In anger though 

[WP22 1,558]

 

///

 

[Zeke 5,504]

9 minutes ago, WP22 said:

 

 

Wtf! Beggars can’t be choosers 

[Handyman 5,682]

A Jewish man walked into a bar and sat down to have a drink.

After a few drinks a Chinese man came in and sat next to him.

The Jewish man turned to him and said, “You know I never forgave your people for bombing Pearl Harbor.”

The Chinese man cocked his head to the side, “That was the Japanese who did that! I am Chinese, not Japanese!”

The Jewish man replied, “Chinese, Japanese, what’s the difference?”

The Chinese man was livid, “Well I never trusted your people after they sunk the Titanic!”

The Jewish man was perplexed and said, “Well my people never sank the Titanic! That ship was sunk because of an iceberg.”

The Chinese man said, “Iceberg, Goldberg, what’s the difference!”

[Downtownv 1,781]

Have we lost our minds?

Answer is: Yes we have.

• If a dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.

• Somehow it’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.

• Russians influencing our elections are bad, but illegal Mexicans voting in our elections are good.

• It was cool for Joe Biden to "blackmail" the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it.

• Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote.

• People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.

• Inflammatory rhetoric is outrageous, but harassing people in restaurants is virtuous.

• People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for useless degrees.

• Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated.

• Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process,

but any illiterate Central-American gang-banger who jumps the southern fence is welcome.

• $5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care is not.

• If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free (Cali. proposal)

• People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.

• We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, and it seems like a great plan to us.

• Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people

are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.

• Criminals are catch-and-released (sic) to hurt more people, but stopping them is bad because it's a violation of THEIR rights.

* And pointing out all this hypocrisy somehow makes us "racists"

 

 

This is Nuckin' Futs

[Handyman 5,682]

22 minutes ago, Downtownv said:

Have we lost our minds?

Agree 100%. And unfortunately, there's nothing humorous about it.  

[silverado427 10,756]

[Downtownv 1,781]

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can.

Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.

Not every retard can read, but look at you go, little buddy!

Today you should take a moment and send an encouraging message to a focked up friend, just as I’ve done.

I don’t care if you lick windows, or have intercourse with farm animals.

You hang in there cupcake, you’re focking special to me, you’re my friend, look at you smiling at your monitor! You crayon eating mother focker you!

 

[Downtownv 1,781]

Anti Gun Clinton in Bernie Debate

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/LnPrxbYARJg?rel=0

[Zeke 5,504]

14 minutes ago, Downtownv said:

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can.

Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.

Not every retard can read, but look at you go, little buddy!

Today you should take a moment and send an encouraging message to a focked up friend, just as I’ve done.

I don’t care if you lick windows, or have intercourse with farm animals.

You hang in there cupcake, you’re focking special to me, you’re my friend, look at you smiling at your monitor! You crayon eating mother focker you!

 

You could hav jus pm’d me widdle buddy!

[45Doll 5,881]

[Scorpio64 5,158]

7 hours ago, Handyman said:

Agree 100%. And unfortunately, there's nothing humorous about it.  

Not even a little femurous?

[Downtownv 1,781]

[Displaced Texan 11,756]

4 minutes ago, Downtownv said:

Can’t see a damn thing, Downtown..

[Scorpio64 5,158]

Just now, Displaced Texan said:

Can’t see a damn thing, Downtown..

Dude, it's clear as day.

6 minutes ago, Downtownv said:

See.

[Downtownv 1,781]

2 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

Can’t see a damn thing, Downtown..

I'm Not so sure you want to....

[Displaced Texan 11,756]

Oh lord....

[Downtownv 1,781]

2 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

Oh lord....

I warned you! Your tax dollars at work- An angry, obese, Black. most likely, lesbian woman, getting a Professor Salary and Pension teaching your kids to Hate.

R U, kidding me?

[45Doll 5,881]

24 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

Can’t see a damn thing, Downtown..

I can't see it natively in either Chrome or Edge. But in Chrome I could open the image in a new tab. It's in .png format, and I don't know if this BB software supports it.

Go here for the story. She's got a foul online mouth too.

And for the record, this is not funny. Your tax dollars at work.

[Displaced Texan 11,756]

Yeah I read that this morning....at first glance I thought she was Stacy Abrams....

[brucin 923]

 Dr. Brittney Cooper, associate professor in the Department of Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies

There's your sign.

[Displaced Texan 11,756]

[njJoniGuy 2,131]

22 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

You know, I don't ever remember Greenie introducing himself to us using his given name.

So why don't we all suppose his mother named him Richard and let's all start calling him Dick

[45Doll 5,881]

11 hours ago, brucin said:

 Dr. Brittney Cooper, associate professor in the Department of Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies

There's your sign.

So let's embellish that profile a little. Underline mine.

"Just know a couple of things: 1.) I report threats to law enforcement and have had committed law enforcement support for many years now. 2.) I have tenure. Rutgers won’t be firing me for tweets. That is all.."

 

[Downtownv 1,781]

36 minutes ago, 45Doll said:

So let's embellish that profile a little. Underline mine.

"Just know a couple of things: 1.) I report threats to law enforcement and have had committed law enforcement support for many years now. 2.) I have tenure. Rutgers won’t be firing me for tweets. That is all.."

 

I'd take her as a guard or tackle if I was drafting for the Giants Jets or Eagles!

That's a Buffalo Gal!

[Displaced Texan 11,756]

15 minutes ago, Downtownv said:

I'd take her as a guard or tackle if I was drafting for the Giants Jets or Eagles!

That's a Buffalo Gal!

That’s a buffalo 

[Bighungry618 450]

41 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

That’s a buffalo 

Shoot it!.....Because meat shortage.

[silverado427 10,756]

[Downtownv 1,781]

19 minutes ago, Bighungry618 said:

Shoot it!.....Because meat shortage.

That 90% fat, 5% bone you use this type hog for reproduction only, not for food sourcing.