Daily humor thread

[Downtownv 1,778]

1 hour ago, Zeke said:

Jeebus @Downtownv it’s 2020! Figure it out ffs!

would it be inappropriate to discus crock pots. here?

[Zeke 5,504]

20 minutes ago, Downtownv said:

would it be inappropriate to discus crock pots. here?

No. But I’ve moved on to instapot  like @JohnnyB. 

[JohnnyB 4,325]

 

20 minutes ago, Zeke said:

No. But I’ve moved on to instapot  like @JohnnyB. 

I've always said @Zeke is a smart man!  Instapot is the greatest invention since the wheel!

[Displaced Texan 11,748]

3 minutes ago, JohnnyB said:

 

I've always said @Zeke is a smart man!  Instapot is the greatest invention since the wheel!

Now you’ve lost all credibility....Zeke smart?!!

[JohnnyB 4,325]

2 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

Now you’ve lost all credibility....Zeke smart?!!

He's so smart, I back him for mod!  He would have the guts to finally ban our resident 3 Soros Stooges once and for all!

[Zeke 5,504]

@Downtownvnever split wood with a man with 9 fingers.

Oh, and stay out of Bayonne 

[Scorpio64 5,155]

11 hours ago, Ray Ray said:

It's really sad that a meme spread throughout the internet has a simple spelling mistake.

It's not a spelling error.  It is an punctuation error.  I suppose, if you want to quibble, it could be both a spelling mistake and a punctuation error.  That would make it a spunctuation error, maybe.

[Ray Ray 3,566]

7 hours ago, Scorpio64 said:

It's not a spelling error.  It is an punctuation error.  I suppose, if you want to quibble, it could be both a spelling mistake and a punctuation error.  That would make it a spunctuation error, maybe.

It's actually a grammar mistake.

[Downtownv 1,778]

[Scorpio64 5,155]

[Zeke 5,504]

55 minutes ago, Scorpio64 said:

I agree with this! Karen!

[Displaced Texan 11,748]

[Displaced Texan 11,748]

[45Doll 5,877]

1 hour ago, Displaced Texan said:

I was painting goats blood around my neighbors doorway lintels.

[Displaced Texan 11,748]

5 minutes ago, 45Doll said:

I was painting goats blood around my neighbors doorway lintels.

I bet you’re popular in your neighborhood! 

[45Doll 5,877]

6 minutes ago, Displaced Texan said:

I bet you’re popular in your neighborhood! 

"Well I reckon I'm right popular."

Josey Wales

[Handyman 5,682]

Greenday was sitting at the bar, staring into his untouched beer.

The bartender walked over and asked “What’s the problem, pal?”

With a heavy sigh, Greenie explained, “My brother just told me that there’s a sperm bank in his neighborhood that pays $50 for a donation.”

“Yeah, so?” asked the bartender.

“Don’t you see?” Greenie cried. “I’ve let a fortune slip through my fingers!”

[Downtownv 1,778]

[njJoniGuy 2,131]

3 minutes ago, Downtownv said:

Every truck-owning member of this forum should have this sign on their tailgate for ALL to see.

 

[silverado427 10,724]

[PeteF 1,044]

[njpilot 671]

[njpilot 671]

[njpilot 671]

[silverado427 10,724]

[Handyman 5,682]

1 hour ago, njpilot said:

What's up with Mayor Ahole making the "White Power" sign?

He's a Nazi! He's outed!

[njpilot 671]

9 hours ago, Handyman said:

What's up with Mayor Ahole making the "White Power" sign?

He's a Nazi! He's outed!

Not so funny. This guy is a Nazi. He is using tactics of the Nazis, telling people to call 311 to report on businesses that open and to report on their fellow citizens.

TheNYPost should put a picture of him on the front page with a hitler mustache giving the Nazi salute.

He is a fascist.

[Handyman 5,682]

3 minutes ago, njpilot said:

Not so funny. This guy is a Nazi. He is using tactics of the Nazis, telling people to call 311 to report on businesses that open and to report on their fellow citizens.

The Nazis were democratic socialists. Our democrats are becoming socialists. All cut from the same cloth.

[Handyman 5,682]

Zeke went searching for an Anniversary Present for his wife.

He went into the department store and approached a salesclerk. “I’d like to buy some gloves for my wife,” Zeke explained to the attractive saleswoman, “but I don’t know her size.”

She delicately placed her hand in his. “Will this help?” she asked sweetly

“Oh, yes,” he answered. “Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours.”

“Will there be anything else?” she asked as she wrapped the gloves.

“Now that you mention it,” said Zeke, “she also needs a bra and panties.”

[silverado427 10,724]