Howard 538 Posted October 19, 2016 1. I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.3. Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.4. Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.5. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.6. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:“What do we want?”.“Time travel”“When do we want it?”.“Irrelevant.”7. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!8. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.9. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”“Are you sure?”“Yes, I’m positive.”10. An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Newtonian 453 Posted October 19, 2016 I heard a good one on the radio today. Female voice: "I've been teaching organic chemistry for 17 years, so I know something about calculations." Haha. Funny eh? My sides are splitting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
302w 83 Posted October 19, 2016 Liberal arts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestPX 172 Posted October 20, 2016 16 sodium atoms walk into a bar and shout, "Batman!" 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
10X 3,301 Posted October 20, 2016 16 sodium atoms walk into a bar and shout, "Batman!" Clever. Took me a minute to get it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestPX 172 Posted October 20, 2016 Clever. Took me a minute to get it. I didn't get my wife to say, "I do" with my looks...had to be clever and crafty! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
louu 399 Posted October 20, 2016 Are youze guys snowed in or something? Holy shit this thread sucks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rob0115 1,105 Posted October 20, 2016 NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa Batman! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WP22 1,558 Posted October 20, 2016 A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The Physicist concludes that, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The Biologist’s conclusion: "They have reproduced." The Mathematician concludes: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maintenanceguy 510 Posted October 20, 2016 A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The Physicist concludes that, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The Biologist’s conclusion: "They have reproduced." The Mathematician concludes: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again." My 9 year old is learning math like that in school - except he has to draw circles in boxes to prove that 3-1=0 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
10X 3,301 Posted October 20, 2016 Three mathematicians are sitting in a duck blind, when a pintail flies by, presenting a challenging crossing shot. The calculus professor swings through, over leads it, and shoots 5' in front of the duck. The actuary fires next, but shoots 5' behind the duck. The statistician jumps up and yells 'we got it!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
10X 3,301 Posted October 20, 2016 I'm reminded of the dyslexic agnostic, who would lie awake at night wondering if there really was a dog. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jm1827 284 Posted October 20, 2016 These are great, keep them coming! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shocker 151 Posted October 20, 2016 I think I saw this on Reddit, not here... Two cats on are on a sloped roof, who falls off first? The one with the lowest mew. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Patrick 638 Posted October 20, 2016 This thread should be called terrible dad jokes this signature exceeds the 15 character capacity count Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
T Bill 649 Posted October 20, 2016 This thread should be called terrible dad jokes this signature exceeds the 15 character capacity count Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Stu 1,922 Posted October 20, 2016 Kid in math class says he's cold. "Go sit in the corner." says the teacher, "It's 90 degrees." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Stu 1,922 Posted October 20, 2016 Hear about the pencil with an eraser on both ends? It was pointless. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JackDaWack 2,895 Posted October 21, 2016 Never trust an Atom, they're always making up stuff. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites