Spartacus99 0 Posted March 13, 2010 I'm glad I found this page, it seems like a very nice group here. I applied for a FID and now I'm educating myself about firearms. I'm hoping someone can help with my first question. Does anyone have a wife that objects to having a handgun in the house? If so how did it go, any suggestions for me? She is a native New Yorker like me and her arguments are "guns promote violence", "there is a child in the house", "where did this hair-brain idea come from?" As you can see she leans pretty much in the direction opposite of us. thanx for any help in advance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malsua 1,422 Posted March 13, 2010 Hi, Welcome. If you have children in your house, firearms must be entirely unobtainable to them(locked in a safe). It is a felony otherwise. As to the other bit about the wife...bring her to the range, let her give it a go. She might actually enjoy it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NJ-Tom 4 Posted March 13, 2010 :greetings-wavegreen: Hello and Welcome. Sorry, I can't help you with your question. My wife, daughter, and son enjoy the shooting sports. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spartacus99 0 Posted March 13, 2010 Without question they will be locked up at all times, but I don't think telling her that is going to sway her much, and offering to take her to the range is not an option at this point. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
XDJohnTact 49 Posted March 13, 2010 Welcome to the forum! My son's new wife was not keen on him having a gun in the house. We took her shooting, showed her how to handle and shoot his XD. We got a small pistol safe and bolted it into the night stand. Now, when he goes on a trip, she sleeps on his side of the bed to be near the safe. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spartacus99 0 Posted March 13, 2010 I hear where you guys are coming from. This situation reminds me of when I first started playing poker, she totally bugged out. "Gambling is bad", "You are going to lose the house", etc..., I happen to be a winning player so when I showed her my winnings over a decent stretch of time she calmed down. Eventually we got to the point where I taught her how to play and she became a decent player. Her problem with guns is going to be a little more difficult to overcome I believe. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenw 293 Posted March 13, 2010 Greetings and welcome. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 13, 2010 Welcome to the fourm! Sorry to hear about your wife...I can t comment because my wife and I love shooting sports, and she loves cooking animals from my hunting trips (when successful)... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Larry1851 0 Posted March 13, 2010 Welcome!! Get a gun safe. Preferably one that can hold your long guns (if you go that route) and provide you with quick access for your handguns. Maybe a combination key and access code type of safe. It seems to me that you and your wife are not on the same page with all this. You may need to work all that out however you can. My son and I like to shoot (and camp). My wife and daughter do not. But...(and pay attention here) they "RESPECT" what the firearms in our house can do. That has to come from you. Me? My long guns are locked up. My handgun is in a safe. I have quick access to it and hope I never have to use it.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tbtrout 141 Posted March 14, 2010 Welcome, perhaps getting her out with other women/couples that shoot could help her. Seeing and talking to another female who shoots may bring her around. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maksim 1,504 Posted March 14, 2010 yup. what tim said. I know we have alot of women shooters in central jersey. tim's wife, chad's wife, anastasia, and others. take her out to the range, show her it is all about responsibility and she will be ok. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
71ragtopgoat 23 Posted March 14, 2010 Hello My wife is a Huge Anti. She lost a friend at age 12 to an unsecured pistol. I had convinced her that I would take all steps possible to make sure it was secure in our home. Then a child in Paterson got killed playing with a pistol. So She said no again. so I bought a 45 Kimber anyway. It's been a few months and she is still angry. I bought a v-line safe. This way I can keep the gun handy should something go bump in the night. The golden rule in my house is not to handle it when my daughter is on the same floor as the weapon. I can live with that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maideneddie 35 Posted March 14, 2010 Welcome to the club :clap: She will hopefully come around eventually, mine did Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OceanTactical 0 Posted March 14, 2010 Welcome and enjoy this site. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
njpilot 671 Posted March 14, 2010 Welcome to the forum. Education and exposure are your best friends in trying to get her more comfortable with the idea. Couldn't hurt to have her read the "Home Invasion" thread under Bucket3. LEt her know that a firearm in the home for self defense can be a good thing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbk 188 Posted March 14, 2010 Hello and welcome. I can't say much about your dilemma, sorry. It seems as there are legitimate reasons for her disdain of firearms (same reason why some people don't like pools of water, etc), which is trauma. The best solution just might be time. Most people I know that were fearful of firearms were because they simply were not exposed to them-- putting them on a pedestal. Your situation seems different-- best of luck regardless. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spartacus99 0 Posted March 14, 2010 Thanx everyone for the warm welcome!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
djg0770 481 Posted March 14, 2010 Welcome. There is not much to add to what the other guys have already pointed out. The Bullet Hole in Belleville runs a Ladies night every few months where they instruct and familiarize the women appropriately (sometimes much better than a husband can do). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spartacus99 0 Posted March 15, 2010 Thank you, I need to keep that in mind since Belleville is local for me. I'm sure I'm going to end up at the Bullet Hole eventually. Is the training at ladies night the basic NRA course but for ladies only? How much is it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Redfish62 1 Posted March 15, 2010 Hello and Welcome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jon 264 Posted March 15, 2010 Welcome from another newb. My girlfriend never held a firearm before meeting me, and the concept of guns in general made her nervous. I convinced her to come to a public WMA range with me just to watch, and went over all aspects of gun safety on the drive over. I also only brought a couple .22 rifles. After I went through a couple dozen rounds I asked her if she wanted to try and she agreed to shoot one mag. After her first "x" (shot #3 i believe) she was hooked, and now always wants to come with me when I go to the range(and she's gotten damn good too). One thing that may have helped me quite a bit is that I had a good set of earmuffs for her, and the range was empty on that particular day. The .22 doesn't kick or make much noise at all, and once she was comfortable with those two factors, guns didn't seem too scary to her anymore. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Col. Mortimer 11 Posted March 15, 2010 Welcome! Tell her, if guns "guns promote violence" would the world be more peaceful if we disarmed the police? Start shooting competitively such as USPSA or IDPA or even the 2x4 matches at Cherry Ridge. It will be a good motivator to get or stay fit and a good place to meet new people and network. Look at all the new people you've already met at this forum. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
njscouts 0 Posted March 17, 2010 Welcome to the forum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old School 611 Posted March 17, 2010 Welcome! This wife as "an Anti" thing is very distressing. Neither of mine ever were that bad. The first wife wasn't crazy about guns but tolerated them and would use one if she had too but probably not well or successfully. Now my new wife looks at guns as tools, as I do. She's not an enthusiast but she'll shoot competitively from time to time. Being she's ex-military helps. I can only suggest two things to you. One, impress upon her that the PD is not obligated to protect you and their response time is not fast enough for an emergency, thus you have to be self sufficient and protect yourself which is your obligation to your family. And secondly, ask her if she would exerecise lethal force if someone was to threaten harm to your children. Forget about having your spouse as a gun enthusiast but she may view firearms as a necessary tool. Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chefhunter34 1 Posted March 18, 2010 I do not own a handgun...YET! But the long guns I own, the wife was not happy and we had some really big talks (arguments) and she has no desire to go to a range, my son and I enlisted the help of her best friend, whose hubby owns guns, and she calmed down, and we purchased the gun safe, double key, and she is ok now, but does not want to see them. So when we go hunting or to a range, we make sure she is out or sleeping. Give your wife some time and slowly introduce her to it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
71ragtopgoat 23 Posted March 18, 2010 Funny I have a V-line safe. When my brother stopped by this weekend he wanted to see my new pistol. So I moved it safe and all to the downstairs. My wife found out about an hour later and freaked on me later that night. Well I kinda lost it right back and now we have a stalemate again. It's a shame because I really want a shotgun to add for HD and skeet shooting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoNRA 12 Posted March 19, 2010 Welcome to the forum, well personally I would let her roam around on here and talk to us just like you are doing. Let her read up on some thing especially the safety portion of the forum... Then maybe try and talk her into going to the range after reading around on here. or... Pull a fast one on her, i'll empty the dishwasher if you go to the range with me this weekend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites