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Maksim

Daily humor thread

By Maksim, in General Discussion

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45Doll    5,877

45Doll
Posted
45 minutes ago, W2MC said:

Hey!  What were you doing up here in MY neck of the woods?

Outdoor gathering of friends beside Shohola Creek. Nice day. Listening to the local gunfire was a bonus!

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W2MC    1,699

W2MC
Posted

Crazy small world....I was just NW of you in Lackawaxen today, and was riding down Route 97 on the other side of the Delaware.  Had lunch at the Greeley Inn.

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Downtownv    1,779

Downtownv
Posted

HARD WORK...

 

 

Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner where a shoe shine is always located.

 

  He sits on the couch, examines the Wall Street Journal, and the shoe shine gives his shoes a shiny, excellent look.

 

  One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO:

 

  - What do you think about the situation in the stock market?

 

  The CEO asks in turn arrogantly:

 

  - Why are you so interested in that - that topic?

 

  "I have a million dollars in your bank," the shoe shiner says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."

 

  - What your name?  –Asks the CEO.

 

  - John H. Smith 

 

  The CEO arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Customer Service Department:

 

  - Do we have a client named John H. Smith?

 

  - Certainly –answers the Customer Service Manager–, he is a highly esteemed customer.  He has a million dollars in his account.

 

  The CEO comes out, approaches the shoeshiner, and says:

 

  - Mr. Smith, I ask you this coming Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life.  I am sure we will have something to learn from you.

 

  At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members:

 

  - We all know Mr. Smith, who makes our shoes shine in the corner;  But Mr. Smith is also our esteemed customer with a million dollars in his account.  I invited him to tell us the story of his life.  I am sure we can learn from him.

 

  Mr. Smith began his story:

 

  - I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name.  I got off the ship without a penny.  The first thing I did was change my name to Smith.  I was hungry and exhausted.  I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail.  Suddenly I found a coin on the sidewalk.  I bought an apple.  I had two options: eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business.  I sold the apple for two dollars and bought two apples with the money.  I also sold them and continued in business.  When I started accumulating dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes.  I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive.  I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and ointments in different shades and expanded my clientele.  I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny.  After a while I was able to buy an armchair so that my clients could sit comfortably while cleaning their shoes, and that brought me more clients.  I did not spend a penny on the joys of life.  I kept saving every penny.  A few years ago, when the previous shoe shine on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place.

 

 

  Finally, three months ago, my sister, who was a high-priced whore in Chicago, passed away and left me a million dollars.

  • Haha 3

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45Doll    5,877

45Doll
Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, 45Doll said:

Incorrect. It's:

Joe and Ho 2020

I confess this was not my original creation. I heard it on Rush yesterday in the car but I didn't have the specifics where it came from. I was overcome laughing out loud. I just found them. A NBA reporter named Bill Baptist posted it up, and then was fired.

1884882310_JoeAndTheHoe2020.jpg.62ac87463f5a9ab4516469fbfbcda75a.jpg

Edited by 45Doll
Original image replaced for a better one.
  • Haha 1

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