Longtime resident Lady Liberty, age 236 was struck by a stolen Chevy Volt last night along the interstate. The driver and passengers, illegally in the US from their native countries across the world, then dragged Ms. Liberty into the woods and brutally sodomized her before heading to the local polling place where they registered using the names of Supreme Court justices and voted without being challenged by UN poll watchers.
Authorities found them around the corner, each with a large supply of newly legalized recreational marijuana, getting high. They were taken into custody and released a short time later with a kiss on each cheek and a prepaid gift card for WaWa to handle the munchies.
Ms. Liberty is in extremely critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit, and doctors are very wary of her chances of recovery. A crowd of zombie-like citizens are already gathered at the Liberty residence, preparing to loot it of valuables when she succumbs to her injuries or the Death Panel declares her worthless and pulls the plug.
The whole "sensitive area because vulnerable people go there" nonsense has to go. Yes, there are people there who for whatever reason are not able (or maybe allowed because of mental or physical infirmity) to possess firearms. Where is the logic in making everybody else vulnerable too?
The asshats that make up these ludicrous rules need to realize that, yes, bad people intending to do harm carry guns. Most people who carry guns are not intending to do harm.
Is it so hard to understand that all wolves are mammals, but only a tiny portion of mammals are wolves?