Some kid broke my daughters arm today

[7-3-2 9]

So yeah I'm at work and the wife calls and all I hear is my daughter crying. Apparently they (both of my daughters oldest is 7, youngest is 5) were at the playground at their school tonight and they were playing with a few kids. Apparently the youngest came over and complained about a kid being mean and my wife suggested she just stay away from him. Anyways, at some point the kid decided to shove my youngest and then at another point grabbed my oldest picked her up and slammed her on the ground breaking her arm high up near the shoulder area. Dr. said no cast but that she is in a sling and shes not allowed to move it because its a clean break but if it were to shift out of alignment then shell have to have surgey. WTF!!!! The kid who did it immediately ran home when he did it and my wife wasnt even sure which kid it was but we have a name. Hes also 8 and much bigger than my daughters ... so were planning on going to the school (because he does go there as well) and complaining and raising a little hell but not sure if its worth going and filing a police report about. It sucks cause now shes missing out on "fun day" at school(aka field day ... kinda), not to mention her B-day is June 5th and now shes screwed out of riding the new bike we bought her and all sorts of crap. I can only hope it doesnt screw her out of her whole summer. I guess I should just be glad I was at work when it happened, so please talk some sense into me and tell me what you guys would do in this situation.

[bry@n 195]

If it were me, I would play columbo, find the kid and sue the parents. Thats just me.

 

I would feel so bad for my kid, that I would make it a financial thing and give the $$ to my daughter when she got married, old enough etc...

[CageFighter 236]

Sorry to hear about your daughter. my left arm is in a cast too. best yet, my b-day is june 5th, as well!

[RecessedFilter 222]

Wow, sorry to hear of that news. That is quite an unfortunate incident...I hope your daughter is ok.

 

I am not a dad, nor will I be any time soon so I can't really say what I would do, although I have an idea.

 

I'm definitely not one to start sueing every one over every thing. If you do go that route, I would suggest sueing for medical bills but not all of that personal injury/trauma/psychological problems/all that BS. Then you'll look like every other _____ American that sues because hot coffee spilled on your lap or your finger needs stitches because you stuck it in a pencil sharpener.

 

Find out who did it, then go from there. I doubt the school will discipline him, but at least talk to the parents and figure out what the hell is going on with him.

[7-3-2 9]

Wow, sorry to hear of that news. That is quite an unfortunate incident...I hope your daughter is ok.

 

I am not a dad, nor will I be any time soon so I can't really say what I would do, although I have an idea.

 

I'm definitely not one to start sueing every one over every thing. If you do go that route, I would suggest sueing for medical bills but not all of that personal injury/trauma/psychological problems/all that BS. Then you'll look like every other _____ American that sues because hot coffee spilled on your lap or your finger needs stitches because you stuck it in a pencil sharpener.

 

Find out who did it, then go from there. I doubt the school will discipline him, but at least talk to the parents and figure out what the hell is going on with him.

 

Yeah were not really into suing anybody over the incident BUT we also wanna make sure it doesnt go unaddressed ya know? Besides suing for medical??? Insurance covered it so what am i gonna sue for time spent in the ER? lol but seriously a lawsuit isnt really my style. I personally just think the little **** shouldnt be able to take part in the field day either since he screwed my daughter out of it PLUS he should have to write her an apology and some dumb **** that will humble him and make my daughter feel better. Im not about screwing a kids life up but I'm all about fairness.

[joejaxx 38]

So yeah I'm at work and the wife calls and all I hear is my daughter crying. Apparently they (both of my daughters oldest is 7, youngest is 5) were at the playground at their school tonight and they were playing with a few kids. Apparently the youngest came over and complained about a kid being mean and my wife suggested she just stay away from him. Anyways, at some point the kid decided to shove my youngest and then at another point grabbed my oldest picked her up and slammed her on the ground breaking her arm high up near the shoulder area. Dr. said no cast but that she is in a sling and shes not allowed to move it because its a clean break but if it were to shift out of alignment then shell have to have surgey. WTF!!!! The kid who did it immediately ran home when he did it and my wife wasnt even sure which kid it was but we have a name. Hes also 8 and much bigger than my daughters ... so were planning on going to the school (because he does go there as well) and complaining and raising a little hell but not sure if its worth going and filing a police report about. It sucks cause now shes missing out on "fun day" at school(aka field day ... kinda), not to mention her B-day is June 5th and now shes screwed out of riding the new bike we bought her and all sorts of crap. I can only hope it doesnt screw her out of her whole summer. I guess I should just be glad I was at work when it happened, so please talk some sense into me and tell me what you guys would do in this situation.

 

1. Talk to the school administrators

2. Request a meeting with the school administrators + the kids parents at the school

3. File a police report/Talk to police about this incident/Press charges if needed (not sure if the age will come into play here; you have no idea if this might be useful later if this is repeat behaviour etc)

4. Pursue means for recovery of medical bills (which might be possible through the police/prosecutors office with number 3)

5. etc etc

 

In this day and age you really cannot take chances anymore. It is one thing to be teasing/bullying. It is another to be body slamming another child with extreme force.

[Maksim 1,504]

have a record of it, but dont press charges. Kids are kids, the child should be parented. talk to the parents. if they are telling you to go pound sand, then press charges. If they truly seem apologetic/honest, then let it be unless there are long term issues.

[7-3-2 9]

have a record of it, but dont press charges. Kids are kids, the child should be parented. talk to the parents. if they are telling you to go pound sand, then press charges. If they truly seem apologetic/honest, then let it be unless there are long term issues.

 

Yeah I'm pretty sure your right. I dont want to crucify the kid as I've screwed up a bit in m life and feel like kids shouldnt be labeled and treated like their screwed up at such a young age. I guess its all in the hands of the other kids parents ... I guess I'm going to try and keep my temper i check as I dont want to lose my rights to own guns

[7-3-2 9]

see being a gun owner is actually helping me to keep myself out of trouble because I dont want to lose my guns!!!

But that being said my Daughters > than my guns sooooooooo should I bust in on the parents like .... Are you feeling lucky? ... Punk?

[QuePsiPhiSmkr 14]

As being a physician, I know most schools have supplemental policies to cover any medical bills.

 

If you sue, you will be tied up in court forever. Plus litigation is the reason why NJ is so fugged up already.

 

Set up a meeting with the school and parents

 

So far as saving your guns and keeping out of trouble, you should looking at it and saying that I am a responsible parent and adult.....

[matty 810]

Try talking to the parents first, they may not be aware of it, and might be as appalled as you are.

[PK90 3,570]

Why is this the school's fault or concern? Why should they take action? According to the OP, the incident occurred on school property at night, or obviously after school hours, as the OP's wife was present. If I am not mistaken, no one is allowed to be on school property after hours without permission. There also may be a sign present indicating their policy. If this is true, leave the school out of it. Pursue action yourself or let it go.

[djg0770 481]

Why is this the school's fault or concern? Why should they take action? According to the OP, the incident occurred on school property at night, or obviously after school hours, as the OP's wife was present. If I am not mistaken, no one is allowed to be on school property after hours without permission. There also may be a sign present indicating their policy. If this is true, leave the school out of it. Pursue action yourself or let it go.

 

Following along these lines, it's imperative to get a police report when incidents of this nature occur. IMO this is the FIRST step as it lays out the occurrence of events in a (generally) non-partisan fashion. I have seen instances where police reports were not filled out correctly, so be sure you get the police report and if there are any inaccuracies, contact the officer, and his superior to get the facts corrected if necessary.

 

The Police report establishes "the truth" of the incident. It's also the first step if you need to or intend to move further forward. At this point, some schmucky parent could say that your daughter was fine when their son left the park and it was some other kid, or etc...

 

The school really has NOTHING to do with this if it didn't occur during school hours under school supervision.

 

Edited to add:

 

IMO, my reaction to the situation would be dictated by how the parents of the bully reacted to the situation. If they're going to be nonchalant and laissez faire, then I'm going to pursue appropriate action, if they're genuinely concerned, and possibly offer to pay for medical bills, then I likely will not press charges, nor would I take their money for medical bills. IMO - it's all in the parental response...

[Old School 611]

So yeah I'm at work and the wife calls and all I hear is my daughter crying. Apparently they (both of my daughters oldest is 7, youngest is 5) were at the playground at their school tonight and they were playing with a few kids. Apparently the youngest came over and complained about a kid being mean and my wife suggested she just stay away from him. Anyways, at some point the kid decided to shove my youngest and then at another point grabbed my oldest picked her up and slammed her on the ground breaking her arm high up near the shoulder area. Dr. said no cast but that she is in a sling and shes not allowed to move it because its a clean break but if it were to shift out of alignment then shell have to have surgey. WTF!!!! The kid who did it immediately ran home when he did it and my wife wasnt even sure which kid it was but we have a name. Hes also 8 and much bigger than my daughters ... so were planning on going to the school (because he does go there as well) and complaining and raising a little hell but not sure if its worth going and filing a police report about. It sucks cause now shes missing out on "fun day" at school(aka field day ... kinda), not to mention her B-day is June 5th and now shes screwed out of riding the new bike we bought her and all sorts of crap. I can only hope it doesnt screw her out of her whole summer. I guess I should just be glad I was at work when it happened, so please talk some sense into me and tell me what you guys would do in this situation.

 

First off... I hope your child heals well and everything turns out OK.

 

Sue? School? Police report? There will be a hospital report as child injuries are a concern relative to child abuse. Contacting the parents is a good thing to atleast let them know they have an agressive child.

 

Question? Why wasn't your child removed from this situation before the injury? Seems like there was adaquate notice.

[siderman 1,138]

Years ago a simular situation happened with my neice. Roughly same age group and curcumstances.Long story short- no lawsuits but got the altercation documented and on file. As punishment for the aggressive kid the agreement was he had to run a lemonade stand all summer for something like 3 hrs a day or so and give the proceeds my neice. Now of course the aim wasn't the "financial" restitution but to humble the kid while his buddys were playing ball, biking whatever.Hopefully he grows up to be a brain surgeon but in case he turns to the dark side a reference can be made to his history.

[Vlad G 345]

I for one am in the camp of walking over the other parents and saying "WTF, mate?"

 

They are kids. Kids break bones. Kids push each other around. Kids at that age have no real moral compass, and to a great degree no understanding of consequences for their actions. To me the only valid path is talking to the kid's parents, making sure they are aware, and making sure they institute an appropriate punishment.

 

I'm a fan of personal responsibility and not delegating it to the state via schools or police or we don't get to complain when the state wants to run out lives for us.

[mikeyboyeee 66]

Wow, sorry to hear of that news. That is quite an unfortunate incident...I hope your daughter is ok.

 

I am not a dad, nor will I be any time soon so I can't really say what I would do, although I have an idea.

 

I'm definitely not one to start sueing every one over every thing. If you do go that route, I would suggest sueing for medical bills but not all of that personal injury/trauma/psychological problems/all that BS. Then you'll look like every other _____ American that sues because hot coffee spilled on your lap or your finger needs stitches because you stuck it in a pencil sharpener.

 

Find out who did it, then go from there. I doubt the school will discipline him, but at least talk to the parents and figure out what the hell is going on with him.

 

BIG difference between spilling hot coffee in your lap or shredding your own finger and suing vs a kid slamming your young daughter to the ground and breaking her arm.

[Sigman 41]

I'm with Nick on this one. At 8 yrs old you should know enough not to slam a girl on the ground. What if his behavior continues as he gets older or his parents couldn't care less?

 

It's one thing if it's an accident, but purposely injuring a person needs to be dealt with. I would be at the kids house with the police if it was my daughter.

[Old School 611]

You are all missing the point. And I avoided being this blunt before. Why would a parent leave their child in a hostle situation? Did she watch this happen? Is she sure it happened?

 

I'm not a blame the victim guy. Just asking...

[vladtepes 1,060]

1. Talk to the school administrators

2. Request a meeting with the school administrators + the kids parents at the school

 

 

I dont know how involved the school gets.. but I think this is a great start.. but my guess (and it's just a guess) that an 8 year old "mean boy" who is so aggressive that he would attack your daughter either has some serious issues or is the spawn of some really lacking parents who failed to instill good values.. if either of those is the case a meeting would likely not net much... but at least you can see what you are dealing with..

[Dan 177]

If they were all horsing around and it was an accident that's one thing... then I would bring it to the boy's parents attention and would expect an apology from the boy. If this kid indeed maliciously body slammed your daughter with the intent of causing harm (as in out of anger/contempt), I'm sorry that's just a flat out violent attack on a girl. I don't care what age they are. I know its a double standard, but if it were two boys scruffing it up and this happened, I would think differently. Since it is a boy attacking a girl, I just feel much differently about it. I was taught to never lay a finger on a girl no matter how pissed off she made you, and I feel that is a good lesson. The police would be called, and I would speak with a lawyer to at least lay the groundwork in case it goes further.

[Vlad G 345]

I'm with Nick on this one. At 8 yrs old you should know enough not to slam a girl on the ground. What if his behavior continues as he gets older or his parents couldn't care less?

 

It's one thing if it's an accident, but purposely injuring a person needs to be dealt with. I would be at the kids house with the police if it was my daughter.

 

First, we don't know if the parents will do nothing. Assuming they won't is playing into the hands of a the nanny states where no one does their job. It should be the first step. If that fails, fine, you move on to schools and police.

 

And no a 8 year old may or may not know what they did was wrong. That is a very strange age when it comes to moral development. Read this, at that age kids are in transition state between various moral development stages and things get somewhat confused. A lot of the moral compass at that age is driven by authority model (the adults are in charge, you do what you are told) which leads to problems when dealing with children of different ages, as the older ones assume they should be in charge.

 

I'm not saying the kid may not end up setting cats on fire and gutting prostitutes in later life, is just that you can't tell at that age, you basically have "kid drugs" running through you, with 113435 types of hormones driving you in 12 directions at once.

[Krdshrk 3,877]

+1 Vlad. I agree with you wholeheartedly. The first step is to talk to the kid's parents. Then get the authorities involved if they are unresponsive or irresponsible.

[Babaganoosh 192]

With all the sue, sue, sue, rants around it seems like a lot of people forget how things went on the playground when they were kids.

 

I'm sure the response to that will be.. Times have changed!

 

It's funny how people get right into that mode these days. I think it's been ingrained in us by society. Call the authorities! File a police report! Take them to court! Sue!

 

I find it ironic that the same people who fight against that kind of stuff as gun owners, are so quick to act that way when the shoe is on the other foot. We don't want the authorities involved in much of anything, since they tend to make situations worse but want to involve them now?

 

The guy hasn't even talked to the kids parents yet. I think that would be the first step. I could have easily seen this happen at anytime when I was 8 years old. A little girl coming over and saying a boy was being mean? Cmon all boys are mean to little girls at that age. Boys and girls definitely hit and wrestled each other on the playground when I was a kid. Not all of the girls mind you but some sure did. I remember being kicked in the sack a few times myself.

[bulpup 98]

I think you will find that since your insurance was paying for the hospital visit and might have to pony up for surgery, they are going to want to find that kid's parents.

 

Your insurance company is going to expect you to cooperate. Insurance companies sue other insurance companies to recoup losses.

[mikeyboyeee 66]

I think you will find that since your insurance was paying for the hospital visit and might have to pony up for surgery, they are going to want to find that kid's parents.

 

Your insurance company is going to expect you to cooperate. Insurance companies sue other insurance companies to recoup losses.

 

 

This is def going to happen. NO DOUBT the insurance Co is going to sue that kids parents.

 

Ask me how I know? (no I never hit a girl EVER), but had a few playground incidents when I was younger

[Vlad G 345]

@Nickjc .. there is a big difference between a teenager and 8 year old. If this was a case of teenagers, I would agree that something more then speaking with the parents would be called for. An 8 year old does not understand his strength vs a younger kid and does not have a complete moral background to be fully blamed for it. Disciplined, sure. Blamed, not so much. At that age they are just starting to understand social interaction outside the parent/child relationship and to some extent some amount of confrontation between peers is the normal process by which they develop those skills. Clearly he went overboard from normal confrontation and thats the point he should be made VERY aware of, but to some extent it is part of growing up. I'm not defending the kids behavior, but ultimately the blame lies with the lack of supervision of BOTH kids. Adults should have intervened sooner.

[Babaganoosh 192]

@Nickjc .. there is a big difference between a teenager and 8 year old. If this was a case of teenagers, I would agree that something more then speaking with the parents would be called for. An 8 year old does not understand his strength vs a younger kid and does not have a complete moral background to be fully blamed for it. Disciplined, sure. Blamed, not so much. At that age they are just starting to understand social interaction outside the parent/child relationship and to some extent some amount of confrontation between peers is the normal process by which they develop those skills. Clearly he went overboard from normal confrontation and thats the point he should be made VERY aware of, but to some extent it is part of growing up. I'm not defending the kids behavior, but ultimately the blame lies with the lack of supervision of BOTH kids. Adults should have intervened sooner.

 

 

This is what I am trying to say to some degree in my post. The kid is 8. 8 is what? 3rd grade? 4th? You guys are trying to apply adult logic to an 8 year olds actions.

[7-3-2 9]

Well ... we went through the school because we only had a first name his sisters name and the grade he was in. The principal helped us in getting in touch with the child's parents and they both seemed to be very sincere and concerned about my daughter and the situation. Im not a firm believer in everything in the idea that some people have about everything needing to result in a lawsuit .. it really doesnt need to. At this point the kid and his parent will be coming to our house tonight and were gonna discuss things and im pretty sure this wont go unaddressed. Were going to make sure my daughter feels as though she wasnt just hurt and nobody did anything about it ... we will address this and thats my main concern is my daughter knowing this isnt exceptable and for the kid to learn that as well. However I still think we can achieve this by meeting with the parents and NOT have to go to the police.

[djg0770 481]

Kids at that age have no real moral compass, and to a great degree no understanding of consequences for their actions.

 

This is such BS. My kids, earlier than that age, had a moral compass. My son is 7, so it's not like it's very far removed from my memory as to how things ARE today. If you said "Some kids at that age, whose parents exhibit no real parenting, have no real moral compass..." then you might have been correct.

 

Right and wrong comes on at a very early age. If it hadn't, a lot of us would have killed our younger siblings...