Daily humor thread

[johnp 45]

 

[silverado427 10,730]

LOL

[Arbelest 29]

His father sends a small boy to bed. Five

minutes later....

"Da-ad...."

... "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had your

chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

[Arbelest 29]

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.

 

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

 

After a cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

 

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

 

 

How I became a cop years ago.. It was all because one of the questions from the career placement test given applicants for job placement was: "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of human body that is more useful when erect!"

 

Those who spelled "spine" become doctors...the rest of us went to the police academy...

 

 

 

 

 

A wealthy couple prepared to go out for the evening. The woman of the house gave their butler, Jervis, the night off. She said they would return home very late, and she hoped he would enjoy his evening. The wife wasn't having a good time at the party. So, she came home early, alone. Her husband stayed on, socializing with important clients. As the woman walked into her house, she found Jervis by h...imself in the dining room. She called him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom.

 

She turned to him and said, in the voice she knew he must obey, "Jervis, I want you to take off my dress." This he did, hanging it carefully over a chair. "Jervis," she continued, "now take off my stockings and garter belt." Again, Jervis silently obeyed. "Now, Jervis, I want you to remove my bra and panties." Eyes downcast, Jervis obeyed. Both were breathing heavily, the tension mounting between them. She looked sternly at him and said, "Jervis, if I ever catch you wearing my stuff again, you're fired!"

[RubberBullets 65]

[bulpup 98]

 

Belly laugh right there

[Yotafan 1]

[BlueLineFish 615]

Lol

[Red Solo Cup 11]

Nice one.

[Maksim 1,504]

ROFLMAO, almost made me spill my tea.

[silverado427 10,730]

Yup.

[johnp 45]

[johnp 45]

[NJTOW 3]

Careful with who you shoot with

[BlackOps Badger 52]

[JonF 79]

[johnp 45]

[RubberBullets 65]

[johnp 45]

huh. Serious question would that be NJ legal? I don't see a reason for it, but it got me curious.

[MarkWVU02 47]

I'd be a little nervous putting that thing in an IWB holster haha

[Tactical Turtle 11]

 

 

 

 

[Krdshrk 3,877]

 

 

Stole this and put it on my facebook......

[MarkWVU02 47]

 

 

Stole this and put it on my facebook......

 

It's just the same thing the media is doing only reversed. The truth is somewhere in the middle of this pictures. I have some photos of me posing all hardcore does that mean I'm a criminal? I don't find any humor in someone's death.

[Krdshrk 3,877]

I'm not using it as humor - I'm using it to enlighten people.

[RubberBullets 65]

Okkkkkk back to the good photos

 

 

[johnp 45]

Haha, the debate follows wherever you go. I don't think the point of that picture is to make Martin look 'hardcore'. It's that the media is showing a picture form 4-5 years ago, which misleads people. In the top picture Z looks much bigger and unshaven with a hard look on his face. And Martin looks like a 10yo waiting for class pictures. When that is not reality.

[RubberBullets 65]

[MarkWVU02 47]

Haha, the debate follows wherever you go. I don't think the point of that picture is to make Martin look 'hardcore'. It's that the media is showing a picture form 4-5 years ago, which misleads people. In the top picture Z looks much bigger and unshaven with a hard look on his face. And Martin looks like a 10yo waiting for class pictures. When that is not reality.

 

Neither really is reality. You're doing the same thing the media is doing. Painting a picture that's not really truth. Either way both depictions are wrong.

[RubberBullets 65]

How about we not pollute the poor humor thread with the same subject that is already dominating 4-5 other threads.

[RubberBullets 65]

When you see it..your ROFL