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Maksim

Daily humor thread

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Youll get thrown out for the snickers bar.  For the pistol.   Mehh.  Not so much.  Odd thing i found out.  In trenton    There is no law against firearm discharge.   But in hopewell there is.  Was told that by a higher up in ewing pd.  Ramsey should open up in tre ton.  

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Insane policies require insane reactions.

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on EBAY any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off my front window.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.

Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN Buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flag pole.

Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.

I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for me to wear when I shop or travel.

Everyone moves out of the way, and security can't pat me down.

If they say I'm a male wearing a burka, I just say I'm feelinglike a woman today.

Hot Damn...Safe at last!! ~ God Bless America

 

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