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Maksim

Daily humor thread

By Maksim, in General Discussion

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BlueLineFish    615

BlueLineFish
Posted

I found it funny due to the massive quantity of weaponry. The table of stuff makes the 10 guys look small. Also the cops are in size order and the way the perps are standing there with bullet proof vests in front of all that hardware. So basically I found a lot funny. So I guess I'm simple.

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hd2000fxdl    422

hd2000fxdl
Posted

All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

 

 

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen.

 

Anoxic is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

 

 

 

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

 

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

 

 

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

 

 

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer..

 

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

 

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

 

 

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

 

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

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hd2000fxdl    422

hd2000fxdl
Posted

TOP 31 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR SOUTHERN MEN SAY:

 

31. When I retire, I'm movin' north.

 

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.

 

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

 

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

 

27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken

 

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

 

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

 

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

 

23. Wrestling is fake.

 

22. We're vegetarians.

 

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

 

20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy..

 

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

 

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

 

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

 

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

 

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

 

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

 

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

 

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

 

11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.

 

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

 

9. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

 

8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

 

7. Checkmate

 

6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

 

5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

 

4. I don't have a favorite college team.

 

3. You Guys.

 

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

 

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

 

1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm driving a whole bus load of us down to

re-elect OBAMA

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