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Maksim

Daily humor thread

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(Cigarettes and Tampons)

 

HAHAHAHA!!!!! As a smoker, that's pretty good. Especially when my mom gets on me to quit, but bums off me, and spends tons of cash on costumes for my niece.

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A $50 Lesson:

I recently asked my neighbors little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.

...

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."

 

Her parents beamed with pride! "Wow...what a worthy goal," I told her, "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."

 

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

 

I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." Her parents still aren't speaking to me."

 

+1 for this - just saw it and shared it on my FB- already have people enjoying this! Thanks for this laugh! :)

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