Longtime resident Lady Liberty, age 236 was struck by a stolen Chevy Volt last night along the interstate. The driver and passengers, illegally in the US from their native countries across the world, then dragged Ms. Liberty into the woods and brutally sodomized her before heading to the local polling place where they registered using the names of Supreme Court justices and voted without being challenged by UN poll watchers.
Authorities found them around the corner, each with a large supply of newly legalized recreational marijuana, getting high. They were taken into custody and released a short time later with a kiss on each cheek and a prepaid gift card for WaWa to handle the munchies.
Ms. Liberty is in extremely critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit, and doctors are very wary of her chances of recovery. A crowd of zombie-like citizens are already gathered at the Liberty residence, preparing to loot it of valuables when she succumbs to her injuries or the Death Panel declares her worthless and pulls the plug.
I'd stay away from eating snakes, too...
...."As cases of the mysterious and deadly coronavirus continue to appear across the world, scientists have pinpointed a potential source of the newly discovered infection: snakes.
A study published Wednesday by Chinese scientists in the Journal of Medical Virology found that the respiratory infection may have originated in the Chinese krait — a highly venomous specious found in central and southern China and Southeast Asia — and the Chinese cobra, CNN reported.
It'll take awhile. I'm sure research has already started, and I've no idea how well it's going, but even if it's going well I'd expect at least a year before anyone gets a compassionate use approval. That's still a long way from full approval for sale, but at least it allows a vaccine to be used in humans in a hot zone to tamp down an ongoing outbreak.
And that's assuming the virus is still in humans the whole time. SARS kinda vanished in humans, and there were a couple of years when Ebola did as well, though both viruses remain active in their animal hosts. It's great when the diseases don't cross back into humans for a time, but it stops research cold. You can't run a clinical trial when no one has the disease.
It doesn’t make any sense to me to place a it facing me in the night stand. Let alone cocked and unlocked on a 1911.
obviously a lesson on what not to do. Hope the dude makes a full recovery .