Daily humor thread

[PeteF 1,044]

 

So Wrong. Not the gun, the character.

[Soju 153]

Not everybody is as big of a Pokemon expert as you Pete!

 

[hd2000fxdl 422]

So Wrong. Not the gun, the character.

 

I was actually wondering who from the forum dressed like that...

[Red Solo Cup 11]

[Jon 264]

[Krdshrk 3,877]

[RubberBullets 65]

For the life of me.. Ive been staring at this pic for 20 mins and have yet to find this damn gun they speak of..

 

[JackDaWack 2,895]

[tt-33 8]

no I dont but ill keep looking

[johnp 45]

 

Something doesn't look right?!! Lol Do you see it?

[Krdshrk 3,877]

Ultimate photobomb?

[TheDon 3]

 

Camden, Willingboro, Burlington City, Trenton, Edison, Patterson, Newark, Atlantic City, ...

[Arbelest 29]

Camden, Willingboro, Burlington City, Trenton, Edison, Patterson, Newark, Atlantic City, ...

 

Dont forget Salem, I have a friend who use to run EMS in that area and he told me he had multiple occasions where people would surround the rig, once they were shot at.

[Tactical Turtle 11]

 

Something doesn't look right?!! Lol Do you see it?

 

Is she sitting on someone lmao

[Ian S 22]

For the life of me.. Ive been staring at this pic for 20 mins and have yet to find this damn gun they speak of..

 

The what now?

[RubberBullets 65]

[hd2000fxdl 422]

President Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he

offers question time.

 

One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name.

" Walter," responds the little boy.

 

"And what is your question, Walter?"

 

"I have four questions:

 

First, Why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?

 

Second, Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it's

actually gotten worse?

 

Third, Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor,

then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?

 

Fourth, Why are we lending $ to Brazil to drill for oil, but

America is not allowed to drill for oil?"

 

Just then, the bell rings for recess. Obama informs the kiddies that

they will continue after recess.

 

When they resume Obama says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right: question time.. Who has a question?"

 

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him

his name.

 

"Steve," he responds.

 

"And what is your question, Steve?"

 

Actually, I have two questions.

 

First, Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?

 

Second, What the fugg happened to Walter?"

[Arbelest 29]

 

 

THATS AWESOME!!

[Dr.Jimmy Rustler 23]

[JSF01 13]

Pretty sure thats a guy but I guess thats where mistake number one comes into play.

[ClangClang 14]

Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, an old man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

 

So Little Tony asks the man, "How old are you sir?" The old man replied, "I'm 74 years old." Little Tony then said back to him, "Well my grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

 

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little Tony answered, "No, he minded his own goddamn business!"

[Jon 264]

[Dr.Jimmy Rustler 23]

http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m167/tharmsen/Screenshot2011-11-28at33419PM.jpg

 

youcantexplainthat.jpg

[Silent Service 7]

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator ( I’m SURE that’s redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

Welcome to heaven," says St.. Peter. "Before you settle in, there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

　

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

　

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.

In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven..."

 

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.

They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

 

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven.

Now choose your eternity."

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before. I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

　

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...

　

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.　

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.

　

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

　

The devil smiles at him and says,

"Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted!! "

Vote wisely on November 2, 2012　

     

Walt Lang Sr.

[alowerlevel 77]

 

 

 

[Arbelest 29]

A Lawyer who was cross-examining the local coroner, asked: “Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man’s pulse?”

“No,” the coroner replied.

“Well, then, did you listen for a heart beat?”

The coroner answered, “No.”

“Did you check for respiration? Breathing?”, asked the attorney.

... ... Again the coroner replied, “No.”

“Ah,” the attorney said, “So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?”

The coroner rolled his eyes, and shot back “Counselor, at the time I signed the death certificate the man’s brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I can see your point. For all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere.”

[NickC 23]

[RubberBullets 65]

[Jon 264]

Did ya hear about the constipated mathematician?

 

 

 

 

 

He worked it out with a pencil.

[Arbelest 29]