Jump to content
Maksim

Daily humor thread

Recommended Posts

His father sends a small boy to bed. Five

minutes later....

"Da-ad...."

... "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had your

chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.

 

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

 

After a cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

 

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25." :D

 

534385_10150665194992752_504517751_9010115_2056858264_n.jpg

 

How I became a cop years ago.. It was all because one of the questions from the career placement test given applicants for job placement was: "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of human body that is more useful when erect!"

 

Those who spelled "spine" become doctors...the rest of us went to the police academy...

 

550952_10150733019575901_567360900_11944723_907086543_n.jpg

 

303378_10150678135279371_166833599370_9024595_1244779438_n.jpg

 

 

 

A wealthy couple prepared to go out for the evening. The woman of the house gave their butler, Jervis, the night off. She said they would return home very late, and she hoped he would enjoy his evening. The wife wasn't having a good time at the party. So, she came home early, alone. Her husband stayed on, socializing with important clients. As the woman walked into her house, she found Jervis by h...imself in the dining room. She called him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom.

 

She turned to him and said, in the voice she knew he must obey, "Jervis, I want you to take off my dress." This he did, hanging it carefully over a chair. "Jervis," she continued, "now take off my stockings and garter belt." Again, Jervis silently obeyed. "Now, Jervis, I want you to remove my bra and panties." Eyes downcast, Jervis obeyed. Both were breathing heavily, the tension mounting between them. She looked sternly at him and said, "Jervis, if I ever catch you wearing my stuff again, you're fired!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

Stole this and put it on my facebook......

 

It's just the same thing the media is doing only reversed. The truth is somewhere in the middle of this pictures. I have some photos of me posing all hardcore does that mean I'm a criminal? I don't find any humor in someone's death.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha, the debate follows wherever you go. I don't think the point of that picture is to make Martin look 'hardcore'. It's that the media is showing a picture form 4-5 years ago, which misleads people. In the top picture Z looks much bigger and unshaven with a hard look on his face. And Martin looks like a 10yo waiting for class pictures. When that is not reality.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha, the debate follows wherever you go. I don't think the point of that picture is to make Martin look 'hardcore'. It's that the media is showing a picture form 4-5 years ago, which misleads people. In the top picture Z looks much bigger and unshaven with a hard look on his face. And Martin looks like a 10yo waiting for class pictures. When that is not reality.

 

Neither really is reality. You're doing the same thing the media is doing. Painting a picture that's not really truth. Either way both depictions are wrong.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.



  • olight.jpg

    Use Promo Code "NJGF10" for 10% Off Regular Items

  • Supporting Vendors

  • Latest Topics

  • Similar Content

    • By njJoniGuy
      Longtime resident Lady Liberty, age 236 was struck by a stolen Chevy Volt last night along the interstate. The driver and passengers, illegally in the US from their native countries across the world, then dragged Ms. Liberty into the woods and brutally sodomized her before heading to the local polling place where they registered using the names of Supreme Court justices and voted without being challenged by UN poll watchers.
       
      Authorities found them around the corner, each with a large supply of newly legalized recreational marijuana, getting high. They were taken into custody and released a short time later with a kiss on each cheek and a prepaid gift card for WaWa to handle the munchies.
       
      Ms. Liberty is in extremely critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit, and doctors are very wary of her chances of recovery. A crowd of zombie-like citizens are already gathered at the Liberty residence, preparing to loot it of valuables when she succumbs to her injuries or the Death Panel declares her worthless and pulls the plug.
    • By DBCooper
      These guys know how to party...
       
      http://www.liveleak....=3c6_1347955567
    • By Maksim
      Why not an offshoot...
       
      Been meaning to start thread a few days ago, after dry firing, I was trying to copy a link from youtube to chat....
       
       
      You know you play too many gun games (uspsa/idpa) when you...
      ...double tap the Control + C twice before pasting the link.
    • By njJoniGuy
      Cross posted from the nationalmatch site
      Enjoy!
       
    • By njJoniGuy
      http://www.strategyp...01123142956.asp
       
      with link to their overall humor section
      such as:
       
      and
       
       
      Enjoy!
  • Posts

    • A lot of the permits issued by the courts before Chapter 131 (A4769) was passed into law restricted the carrier to specific handguns. My permit has the "no restrictions" box checked as well as the "see court order" box. There is no list of handguns on my physical permit. After Chapter 131 was passed, the restrictions did not go away for permits issued under the original process. I'll be applying for my renewal next week (4 months before expiry) and that will get me a new permit issued by the police, not the court.
    • I dont get the "unrestricted " part.  He should know that they are not restricted.  Maybe a few yrs ago if you worked for an armored car service but I believe that no longer applies.  I could be wrong...
    • An NJSP Trooper pulled me over a few weeks ago. My setup is I carry at about 3:30 IWB under a shirt and almost always wear cargo pants. My wallet lives in my left side thigh pocket and my IFAK is in my right side thigh pocket. I have a folding knife clipped on my right front pocket, spare mag in a neomag clipped to left side front pocket and a flashlight in a pocket designed for a cellphone at the left front of my pants (forward of the regular front pocket). When he got to the passenger side window he was already starting his routine so I interrupted him and told him that I had a carry permit and was currently armed. He stopped his spiel and asked where it was. I told him holstered on right hip. His response - OK no problem.  Then he wanted my DL & insurance. He asked me where they were. I told him left side thigh pocket for the DL and insurance was in the glove box. He said keep my hands on the wheel while he moved to the driver's side window. Then he asked me to get my DL. I'm not sure why he moved to the nearer window. I gave him my DL then he wanted the insurance so I got that from the glove box. He went back to his car to run them. He was just about at his car when he came back and asked to see my PCH. I showed him and he said I was lucky to have an unrestricted one. He handed it back and went back to his car. Quite quickly he came back and told me I was getting a warning for my speed. In parting he thanked me for the way I handled myself during the stop, but did not elaborate. I deliberately keep my wallet in my left side thigh pocket so it is nowhere near my gun for situations just like this. I think his parting comment was related to that as I didn't have to furkle around near my gun for anything during the stop.
×
×
  • Create New...