Longtime resident Lady Liberty, age 236 was struck by a stolen Chevy Volt last night along the interstate. The driver and passengers, illegally in the US from their native countries across the world, then dragged Ms. Liberty into the woods and brutally sodomized her before heading to the local polling place where they registered using the names of Supreme Court justices and voted without being challenged by UN poll watchers.
Authorities found them around the corner, each with a large supply of newly legalized recreational marijuana, getting high. They were taken into custody and released a short time later with a kiss on each cheek and a prepaid gift card for WaWa to handle the munchies.
Ms. Liberty is in extremely critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit, and doctors are very wary of her chances of recovery. A crowd of zombie-like citizens are already gathered at the Liberty residence, preparing to loot it of valuables when she succumbs to her injuries or the Death Panel declares her worthless and pulls the plug.
Day three was very good to the Team USA Skeet Shooters, as they won the gold in both the Men's and Women's events!
Returning Olympic Medalist Vincent Hancock was in 4th place after the previous day's qualification round, 2 birds behind the leader, while Amber English was in 3rd place, but 3 birds back. Both pulled it out in the final, each setting new Olympic records, Vincent winning an unprecedented third Olympic Gold Medal in the event.
Gold V. Hancock, USA, 59 (Olympic Record!)
Silver J. Hansen, Denmark, 55
Bronze A. Al-Rahshidi, Kuwait, 46
Men's Skeet Finals - video
Gold A. English, USA, 56 (Olympic Record!)
Silver D. Bacosi, Italy, 55
Bronze M. Wei, China, 46
Women's Skeet Finals - video
In Skeet, after a 125 target qualification round, six shooters advance to the final. In a manner similar to that seen in the air gun events, partway through the final the lowest shooters are eliminated from the squad, one by one, until at the end only the top two shooters remain in head-to-head competition. It is another fairly recent change to how the match is run, probably made in the interest of making it more interesting for the TV audience (and more stressful to the shooters).
Since so much is different in international competition than what we are used to in US shooting events, I've attached the link below with good information on how every event works.
How are the Olympic shooting events scored?