Daily humor thread

[silverado427 10,729]

[capt14k 2,052]

The wtb garand thread

 

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[silverado427 10,729]

[SmittyMHS 603]

A couple was in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. 

The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and 

as they had a lot to do,  she called him on the cell

 

The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 

years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? 

I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would 

get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all 

choked up… "Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."

[silverado427 10,729]

LMFAO...  

 

 

 

[silverado427 10,729]

[Krdshrk 3,877]

A male and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.

The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father. 

He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our blowholes at the same time - it should make the ship to turn over and sink."

They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. 

The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and eat them before they reach the shore."

At this point, he realized the female didn't want to follow him.

"Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen." 

[JohnnyB 4,325]

^^^^NOW THAT WAS FUNNY^^^^

[Krdshrk 3,877]

This can't be NJ Legal:

[Krdshrk 3,877]

[silverado427 10,729]

[Krdshrk 3,877]

[Krdshrk 3,877]

[High Exposure 5,664]

[Zeke 5,504]

^ ok. That's funny, badass and other

[My1stGlock 144]

This can't be NJ Legal:

Looks like it's only 13 rounds so yes in NJ? Lol

 

 

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[Krdshrk 3,877]

Looks like it's only 13 rounds so yes in NJ? Lol

 

 

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Full auto

[silverado427 10,729]

[silverado427 10,729]

That's fuked up. lmao !

[silverado427 10,729]

[Shawnmoore81 623]

A Police Officer was patrolling late at night off the main highway. At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in Lovers' Lane, with the interior light brightly glowing.

 

He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.

 

Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.

 

He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.

 

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the Officer walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.

 

The young man lowers his window.. "Uh, yes, Officer?"

 

The trooper asks: "What are you doing?"

 

The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."

 

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the Officer says: "And, her, what is she doing?"

 

The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails." Now, the trooper is totally confused.

 

A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in Lover's Lane and nothing obscene is happening!

 

The trooper asks: "What's your age, young man?"

 

The young man says: "I'm 22, sir."

 

The trooper asks: "And her, what's her age?"

 

The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

 

 

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[silverado427 10,729]

[silverado427 10,729]

[PD2K 115]

[silverado427 10,729]

[Krdshrk 3,877]

[silverado427 10,729]

[silverado427 10,729]

[silverado427 10,729]

[silverado427 10,729]