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Kaiser7

Since I look up to you guys as an "extended family" Can I ask girl advice?

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Okay, I apologize if this should be in the lounge, but this seemed to be the best place I could think of to put it, where it was open to non-premier members.

 

Anyway, like I said, I don't really know many of you guys in person, apart from NJ2AS members in SJ, but perhaps due to the shared frustrations of being NJ gun owners, and the fact you guys are all so generous and good-natured, I do look up to many of the members here.

 

Anyway, I'm a pretty shy in person. I'm not the type that can just start a random conversation with someone I don't know, boy or girl. Now, for meeting girls, this is a pretty bad thing, so I'm wondering, what's the best way to go about starting conversation without it being awkward? Like, I feel really weird just walking up to a random person and being like "Hey what's up? I'm Matt".

 

Weirdly enough, I actually do pretty well with the ladies once I do start talking to them, but it's that damn ice-breaking that kills me.

 

I apologize for the totally random nature of this thread, but a lot of you guys are older, been there, done that, so I figured you'd be able to give me good advice.

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It's the shy thing that you have to work on first. Being shy can be interpreted as lacking confidence and that is one of the most important things to women. Some guys with low self-esteem (not the same as shyness) choose to imitate confidence by acting like douchebags, but that only works with certain kind of women.

 

But this is a huge topic, that goes way beyond any internet forum.

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Just remember: "the more you drink, the better I look".

That was college.

There are probably as many (or more) shy girls as there are shy girls. It's just a matter of finding a reason to talk with them and let them know you are a good guy.

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I don't know the first thing about picking up women anymore...it's been over 25 years since I had the need.

 

But, the truth told, I think your best bet is just like you said..."Hi, I'm Matt." What's the worst thing that could happen...she kicks you in the nads and dumps a drink on your head as you lay there writhing on the floor in pain? Confidence is the type of thing that you can achieve with practice. Keep at it.

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so you got rid of the one who punched you in the gut?

 

in all seriousness, i had the same problem a few years ago. then once you get some confidence and grow some balls youll be fine. so say hi how are you. your in school right? i met more girls in school than anywhere. dont think of every girl as i wanna hit that. just go up and talk and youll be surprised. also look for the quiet girls in the classes they are good to go. not quiet when you get to know them. and friends of friends is a good way to go. have a female friend introduce you to her friends, or a friends girlfriend have her introduce you to friends, it works rust me.

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one idea that has worked well for me in the past is get a dog or even better borrow one of your friends dogs. walk the dog in a park or take it to a dog park or into pet stores. when you see a girl that intrests you with another dog just walk up and ask if your dog can meet her's. its a good icebreaker and it has been my experence that pet people are a bit more friendly and open to conversation with strangers. also if you are walking your friends dog let dont claim it as your owne just say that you are looking after the dog while the owner is away.

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Just smile alot and focus on their eyes and their smiles. Lower if they aint looking... ;)

Go to a go-go joint and practice there. Nobody cares and they only want your money.

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You go to Rowan (guessing by your signature) there should be plenty of oppurtunities to meet people at events school and non-school related, its just a matter of notcicing similar interests with another person so start a conversation off. Since the topic is a common interest you should be more at ease because you are interested in the subject.

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Confidence. It starts with random interaction. If you're used to one word answers, try to build off that. Holding the door for someone, when they say thank you, respond with "You're quite welcome"...someone drops something, help them pick it up, same response. See someone walking by that looks cold, blurt out "Is it Spring yet?" Eye contact is key. These are all tiny ways to start an interaction. What do you do for work? Any kind of retail job will help with interaction.

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It really is as simple as walking up & saying hello..

People are usually alot more friendly than you'll anticipate, and will react in kind if you're genuinely nice to them.

A good thing to remember is don't walk up & start talking about yourself, get them to do the talking & listen.

People like to talk about themselves so play on that

Instead of

"Hi I'm Matt, I'm doing this or that"

Try:

"Hi I'm Matt, what is that you're (reading/drinking/painting etc)

And go from there

and viola!...what a good listener you are!

And it's true, confidence is king, even if you're not confident--fake it!

 

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Be cool with yourself, don't be a dick, be truly interested in what other people have to say and yet don't take any negativity towards yourself to heart. If you can learn to savor and analyze different kinds of rejection like the varied aromas of fine wines then you are well on your way.

 

Practical tip - if you want to practice starting conversations with random women who are likely completely detached from your social circles:

 

http://www.omegle.com

 

http://www.chatroulette.com

 

Omegle is supposed to restrict nudity, so less chance of getting surprised with naked man-schween there (not that there's anything wrong with that, but I think your preference is women), but still, keep your mouse on the "next" button just in case.

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Eh... disregard women. You will be better off. Aiming to living in a remote cabin with just your guns and your dog like Mark Walberg in The Shooter. You will be happier for it.

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The main key is to not care. Its amazing what will happen if you just stop worrying. If she shoots nkyou down so what. Move on. That not caring also exudes confcidence. If a chick knows you don't really need to be talking to her but choose to it carries weight.

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Everyone pretty much nailed it.....confidence is key. Women hate shy, insecure men. Easier said than done, but don't be one.

 

Eh... disregard women. You will be better off. Aiming to living in a remote cabin with just your guns and your dog like Mark Walberg in The Shooter. You will be happier for it.

 

Lol...although I'm sure this was in jest....there's some truth behind it as well. I can't tell you how many of my friends said one of the keys is, to NOT go out looking for women. Sounds counter-intuitive....but I've been told over and over it works. The minute you stop going out "looking" and start going out to simply have fun, the girls will find you.

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Eh... disregard women. You will be better off. Aiming to living in a remote cabin with just your guns and your dog like Mark Walberg in The Shooter. You will be happier for it.

this is where I'm at! Seriously though, the best way to pick up girls is to act like your not looking for one. Go out with friends and have a good time, girls like guys that don't look desperate even if there confident. Sometimes confidence is just doing your own thing.

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"Go ugly early!" Then when the bar closes you will be all set! :wild:

 

I am a firm believer in "go ugly early" have sex with them, then leave and go back to the bar and "go ugly late" and get oral from the 2nd one without washing in between

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