Dealing with the death of a parent

[intercooler 41]

Some of you guys here know already, but I need to write this to help. My father is going to pass away shortly, the dr's just gave us the word that he has three weeks if he is lucky. Just 2 or 3 weeks ago the supposed lyme disease turned out to be bone cancer. Now it is bone, lung and brain cancer. He is in pain from having a pin put in to help stabilize his hip where bone degraded, now bedridden and frail. The strong, lucid man i knew is gone and I and heartbroken. The grief is from the pit of my soul, I find it hard to realize that this happened so fast. I knew that I would cross the subject eventually, but I was not ready for it. I can only prey that he does not suffer much longer as the brain cancer is making him unable to speak, or even recognize us. He is ok sometimes and more often he is just a body with no soul. Those who have not had to deal with this are truly luck. As a son, I feel that I am losing the hero of my life and it is very hard to accept I am generally a pretty collected guy and not too emotional, but this hurts.

Please pray for my dad

[mikeyboyeee 66]

My thoughts are with you my friend!

[siderman 1,138]

I will pray for everlasting peace for your father and strength for you and yours. I truly know what is happening as I went thru this also, watching dad in a hospital bed and knowing.It may seem an unbearable task now but time will help ease the present pain. Saying prayers now...

[hiker88 22]

I will be praying for you and your family.

[Krdshrk 3,877]

Nick - You have my sympathies. I hope everything turns out for the best.

[hd2000fxdl 422]

Sorry to hear this, as we know this is something all of us at one time or another will have to deal with and we all will react differently but well all have a responsibility to our family.

 

This is also a good time to let them know some of the things you may not have said to them, even of they don't respond and/or don't understand, you have no way of knowing they did hear you will will take that with them.

 

Again my best to you, your father and the rest of the family and handle this how ever works best for you as we each have our own way to cope with things.

 

Harry

[XDJohnTact 49]

Nick, My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. In the last 18 months, I have lost my older brother, a sister in law and my sister, who was my best friend. We will keep your dad and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

[PK90 3,570]

There is nothing I can say to ease your heart. Just know that there are many that have gone through this before you and understand. I foresee this for me in the future and do not look forward to it. You are in my prayers.

[Duppie 73]

Having lost my mother not too long ago and remembering her as a vital,energetic,outspoken piece of work,I believe I can relate. I'll leave you with her favorite quote,"Off on another adventure" My prayers and sympathies go with you and your family.

[Smokin .50 1,907]

Nick,

 

Prayers are sent to You & Yours! May God Bless you all!

 

Dave

[Theron 5]

Prayers for your father and family.

 

I have experienced this as well. It is one of the most 'real' and hardest things you will have to cope with.

 

Here is one resource which I found useful:

 

http://www.griefspeaks.com/id45.html

 

At this time even though you may want to just shut down it's important to communicate with your family.

 

Take it one moment at a time.

[civictuner04 6]

im sooo sorry i couldn't imagine just remember all the great times you guys have had together....my prayers go out to you and your family in these hard times.

[coldsolderjoint 84]

Nick,

 

I'm so sorry to hear of this. I too have experienced a situation very similar to this not too long ago.

 

It's extremely hard for everyone involved.

 

to be honest with u,our friends and the community here and also from my previous hobbies where most helpful with dealing with this tough time. its a much different dynamic here than "in person" friends or family.

 

Please don't hesitate to let me or any of us know if u need any help or just an ear to talk to. and it doesn't have to be a gay formal thing. we are all friends here.

 

stop by the chat room too

[tj462nj 32]

I am very sorry to hear bout your Dad. My prayers go out to you & your family.

[djg0770 481]

Please don't hesitate to let me or any of us know if u need any help or just an ear to talk to. and it doesn't have to be a gay formal thing. we are all friends here.

 

+100

[Rifleman1 32]

My prayers are with you. I lost my Dad last September so I know personally what you are going through. We are never fully prepared for this loss but what helped me was to focus on all the good times, things we did together, vacations we took and places we went. I spent a lot of time going through our pictures to recall all those wonderful memories. I still miss him but realize that none of us are on the planet forever and we need to enjoy our time here to the fullest. As my Dad would say, life is too short for bad wine, bad family & friends or bad firearms...

[mrlew 0]

Your dad and your family are in my families prayers. I, too, lost my dad about 10 years ago. I miss him everyday. But yes, life goes on.

[mipafox 438]

I am praying for all of you.

[Maksim 1,504]

prayers for you and your family. It has been a hard year for the njgf family, however we are all here to help ease the pain. Nothing will undo it, but what we can do is help get you through it.

[robot_hell 72]

My thoughts go out to you and yours-- stay strong.

[Parker 213]

My prayers are with you and your family.

[MrP 81]

As unpleasant as it is, the fact that you do feel so emotional is an incredible testament to the man your father is and always will be. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[junkmanted 54]

That hero will always be with you !

[Zardoz 4]

Our prayers are with you and yours.

[njpilot 671]

We're sorry to hear that. Our thoughts are with you? I went through the same thing with my dad about 7 1/2 years ago. It's not easy, but try and spend as much time with him these last few weeks that you can. You will be glad you did.

[Wildbob 14]

What helped me get through it was the thought that it is the duty of every kid to outlive his parents. It can't happen the other way. Thing is : if you do it right, you lose your parents. My thoughts are with you.

[johnoutdoors 10]

My sympathies for the sad news. We went trough something similar with my father in law, fine one day, gone very quickly. He was a lion of a man and I regret that my children never met him. But he lives on through the love that he shared and stories of him. Nothing will replace your father, but he will always be with you, as long as you keep him in your heart.

[intercooler 41]

I went to see him at the hospice, tonight and it hurts. My brother is home from afghanistan and will be here in a day or two. The truth is that life is robbing him of the time he earned, and that he can never be proud for his kids and enjoy his life. It is as if the threshold of your life is crossed when your parents leave, that the connection to your childhood is missing. That he worked to provide for 2 kids , a way better life than he had...and spent 8 years in vietnam helping others, a fireman, and a friend who could always be counted on. I am not ashammed that I have wept for my father lot in the past days, I just wish he had more time. I told him that he did his job and that I loved him.

 

I am sorry for this if it upset anyone here, but I needed to vent and say how I felt. The outpouring here is a great help to me as are the people in my community who know about it. I know that my father will be missed by more than just me.

thank you all very much

nick

[67gtonut 847]

Thoughts and Prayers........

[johnoutdoors 10]

he can never be proud for his kids

 

Don't for a minute believe this. Talk to him and ask him directly, I'm sure from the way you talk about him that he is proud of how he has a loving son. There is no better time to ask him questions like this. It sounds selfish, to ask someone if they are proud of you, but nothing helped my wife and her sisters like hearing their father tell them how he loved them and how proud he was of the women they turned out to be. He took great pride in their accomplishments as I am sure that your father does in yours. A lot can be said about a man by the love that he creates.