Daily humor thread

[silverado427 10,760]

[silverado427 10,760]

THIS REALLY ISN'T FUNNY .

 

 

[silverado427 10,760]

LMFAO

 

[gfl216 229]

You gotta love Uncle Ted!

[jm1827 284]

I want a poster of this!

[Rob0115 1,106]

We will see after Jill Stein's recount of three states.

Something is starting to stink.

Nothing is signed sealed and delivered until the Electoral College votes.

Right now one, she hasn't raised the money for PA and MI.

[T Bill 649]

Thought she goes to court Monday in PA.  I know this will probably go no where by with all the twists and turns so far, who knows.

[Rob0115 1,106]

She may be but according to the news she hasn't raised enough cash.  It's all stupid bullshit from a scam artist who is enriching herself.  

[NJGF 375]

Jill Stein Can’t ‘Guarantee’ Money Will Go to Recount, Changes $$$ Goal

http://lawnewz.com/high-profile/jill-stein-now-cant-guarantee-money-will-go-to-unlikely-recount/

 

"We cannot guarantee a recount will happen in any of these states we are targeting. We can only pledge we will demand recounts in those states."

 

"If we raise more than what’s needed, the surplus will also go toward election integrity efforts and to promote voting system reform."

[NJGF 375]

Jill Stein Can’t ‘Guarantee’ Money Will Go to Recount, Changes $$$ Goal

http://lawnewz.com/high-profile/jill-stein-now-cant-guarantee-money-will-go-to-unlikely-recount/

 

"We cannot guarantee a recount will happen in any of these states we are targeting. We can only pledge we will demand recounts in those states."

 

"If we raise more than what’s needed, the surplus will also go toward election integrity efforts and to promote voting system reform."

[jm1827 284]

 

Jill Stein Can’t ‘Guarantee’ Money Will Go to Recount, Changes $$$ Goal

http://lawnewz.com/high-profile/jill-stein-now-cant-guarantee-money-will-go-to-unlikely-recount/

 

"We cannot guarantee a recount will happen in any of these states we are targeting. We can only pledge we will demand recounts in those states."

 

"If we raise more than what’s needed, the surplus will also go toward election integrity efforts and to promote voting system reform."

 

What a complete crock of you know what!

[silverado427 10,760]

[Bighungry618 450]

Right now one, she hasn't raised the money for PA and MI.

not funny

 

Thought she goes to court Monday in PA.  I know this will probably go no where by with all the twists and turns so far, who knows.

 

not funny

She may be but according to the news she hasn't raised enough cash.  It's all stupid bullshit from a scam artist who is enriching herself.  

not funny

 

 

Jill Stein Can’t ‘Guarantee’ Money Will Go to Recount, Changes $$$ Goal

http://lawnewz.com/high-profile/jill-stein-now-cant-guarantee-money-will-go-to-unlikely-recount/

 

"We cannot guarantee a recount will happen in any of these states we are targeting. We can only pledge we will demand recounts in those states."

 

"If we raise more than what’s needed, the surplus will also go toward election integrity efforts and to promote voting system reform."

 

 

not funny

 

Jill Stein Can’t ‘Guarantee’ Money Will Go to Recount, Changes $$$ Goal

http://lawnewz.com/high-profile/jill-stein-now-cant-guarantee-money-will-go-to-unlikely-recount/

 

"We cannot guarantee a recount will happen in any of these states we are targeting. We can only pledge we will demand recounts in those states."

 

"If we raise more than what’s needed, the surplus will also go toward election integrity efforts and to promote voting system reform."

 

not funny

 

What a complete crock of you know what!

not funny

 

SO...have you guys had heard about the corduroy pillow?.....it's making headlines! 

[Handyman 5,682]

 

SO...have you guys had heard about the corduroy pillow?.....it's making headlines! 

 

 

not funny. This is on par with the muffin joke.

[Bighungry618 450]

not funny. This is on par with the muffin joke.

Whoa.....a talking muffin!!

[T Bill 649]

not funny

not funny

not funny

not funny

not funny

not funny

SO...have you guys had heard about the corduroy pillow?.....it's making headlines! 

OK,

 

Why was Santa upset when he got a sweater for Chrismas?

He was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

 

Why does Santa go through to chimney?

Cause Mrs Claus told him he is never getting in the back door.

 

Why does Santa land on the roof?

He likes to be on top.

 

What is Santa's motto?

Make sure your wrap your package before you drop in down the chimney

 

Why is Santa so jolly?

He knows where the naughty girls live.

 

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops after three "Hos"

 

Why do elves laugh when they run?

Because the snow tickles their balls.

 

Why did the Snowman have a smile on his face?

The snowblower was coming down the block.

 

OK?

[Zeke 5,504]

Well, Christmas is ruined now! Sorry kids.

[NJGF 375]

Well to get everyone back in the spirit:

 

Boy 1: Where do snowmen keep their money?

Boy 2: Beats me.

Boy 1: In a snow bank

 

Ho, Ho, Ho!

[NJGF 375]

A dupe so a replacement:

 

I would take this but I don't think it is legal in NJ (the flash hider thingie):

 

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/12/25/article-2529217-1A48379A00000578-735_964x562.jpg

[silverado427 10,760]

[JohnnyB 4,326]

That was FREAKING GREAT!

[Kevin125 4,772]

Awesome.....

[silverado427 10,760]

You guys might like this.

 

 

http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/generic?p0=263&iso=20170120T00&msg=Time%20left%20until%20Obama%20leaves%20office

[jackandjill 683]

http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/party?iso=20170120T12&p0=263&msg=Making+America+Great+Again&font=cursive

[Peter Goldwing 90]

LOL. Great

[silverado427 10,760]

[gfl216 229]

  

[rifleman 90]

Back to funny CL. 

1. Boo hoo, no more peter goldwing. hahahahaha

 

2. I bought a safe from a woman 1 hour away. After I looked at it, she admitted did not know the combo. WTF????? At least it was open. I couldn't be angry, her kid was standing behind her. OK let's be civil I thought (not easy). She "promised" to find the previous owner and send the combo. Good effing luck.

 

I still took it and drove home. WOuld you believe she actually did find & send the combo in the mail? Of course I replied with the cash! Good karma.

 

3. Old school CL. I found a guy selling a mooring (350 lb mushroom anchor & 200' of HD chain for you land-lovers) down in Maryland. We agreed to meet at an abandoned gas station and he would lead me into the woods to exchange cash for rusty metal. What could possibly go wrong with this? I had 120 lbs of dog and a Browning Hi-Power with me.

 

Boring part of the story, we loaded the stuff in my truck and I paid him. Yawn.

 

[SmittyMHS 603]

The other day when I was shoveling snow my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be President someday. Both of her parents, Democratic Party members, were standing there so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
Her parents beamed with pride!
"Wow...what a worthy goal!" I said..."But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!"
"What do you mean?" she replied.
So I told her, "You can come over to my house and shovel snow, walk Zin and I'll pay you $50. Then you can go over to McDonalds where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
Her parents aren't speaking to me anymore.
If you know any Republicans that would get a chuckle out of this, share it with them.
Most Democrats will just delete it, I guess the logic escapes them...

[Purple Patrick 638]

The wtb garand thread

 

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